Want to tidy up your mind?
By now, you’ve heard of Marie Kondo and her magic of tidying up. She believes when you tidy your home by choosing JOY, you transform your life. It’s brilliant!
Her method is to examine everything you own and ask yourself, “Does this spark joy?” If yes, you keep it. If no, you toss it. This applies to clothes, housewares, photos, home furnishings, books, even files on your computer. Wonder how I can Marie Kondo my kids? Just joking 🙂
Take Charge of Your Thoughts
The same approach can be applied to your internal space, especially if you’re trying to conceive. Let’s take inventory of your thoughts, shall we? Grab your favorite journal and pen (one that sparks JOY!)
On paper, do a brain dump of everything on your mind. Things like:
- Annoying things on your to-do list that you know you need to do and keep pushing to the next day
- Regrets around trying to conceive
- Hard conversations you’ve been meaning to have
- Doctors you want to call
- Tests you’d like to take
- Anything else weighing you down
Transform your cluttered mind into a place of peace and inspiration.
This gives you a nice visual of how much is actually on your mind. Each worry and to do takes up so much of your energy. Energy you need for making a baby! An important part of opening up to receive is making room.
Next, review the list. See the things you can take action on and schedule them in your calendar. You don’t have to do everything at once. Pick the most important thing and start there.
Now, look at any disempowering thoughts you wrote down and cross them off. You don’t need those! Switch them to positive thoughts that create beautiful possibilities in your mind.
As I’ve said before, your body follows your mind. If you believe you can conceive, you have a better chance of pregnancy. If you believe your eggs are too old, you’re telling your body conception isn’t possible. What do you believe is true for you?
When in Doubt, Throw Coconuts
Some thoughts are too heavy to just cross off on paper. They’re painful. They keep you awake at night: “WHY am I not getting pregnant? WHY isn’t this happening for me? WHY? WHY? WHY?” It’s enough to make you nuts.
Well, I’ve got a solution for you. Buy some coconuts and smash the heck out of them. It’s the last thing you’d expect me to say, and it works!
I’ve learned this tool from Tosha Silver’s book, It’s Not Your Money. She says and I quote, “The coconut represents the attachment of the mind to a particular problem, and actually, if you look closely, it really does look like a head with two dark eyes and a mouth. You can usually find them at Asian markets, Shop Rite, or the health food store.
Get one with its hard, hairy shell intact. Make sure you can hear the milk sloshing inside. Sit and meditate with it, offering God (or your higher power) the whole burden of what you want to release. Then smash the bejesus out of it. I like to throw it against a hard sidewalk or rock since the release as it explodes is deeply satisfying.
If a certain topic has tortured you forever, you may feel immediate freedom when the coconut breaks. I remember the first time I smashed one, a weight I’d carried around since childhood was shattered to bits and never returned.
Note: Do not save the pieces to eat. You just broke the symbolic container for your ancient, gnarly-ass problem, so throw it away!”
Make a God Box
If throwing coconuts is too weird for you, I have another tool. Have you heard of a God box? Get a box as simple as a shoe box or as elaborate as a jeweled one. It’ll become the divine home for your headaches.
If you’re worried by an upcoming IVF treatment or your 40th birthday, write it down, and stick the paper in the God box, fully surrendering the outcome. Ask for the right next steps to be shown.
The trick is to detach yourself with HOW things unfold. Ultimately, you can’t choose what happens to you. Only how you choose to react.
If you’re still anxious about getting pregnant, remember that you already put it in God’s hands. Replace your thought of “I MUST get pregnant, NOW!” with “I want what’s best for the highest good.” Ah, doesn’t that feel better? The simple act of letting go of control opens up space for a magical solution.
Each day, you have 60,000 thoughts and most of them are repetitive. The psychological crap that we collect blocks the baby we truly desire to have. Take note and if it’s a thought you don’t want to bring into the future, drive it to the thrift shop and drop it off.
Marie was right. Your life is about choosing joy. Taking good care of your mind leads to taking good care of you (and your future baby).
It’s Not Your Money by Tosha Silver, 2019