Loving yourself is a journey. When you put your needs above everyone else’s, life becomes more enjoyable. I wish schools taught self-empowerment. The world would be more peaceful if we mothered ourselves as much as our kids. My daughters hear me say, “be kind to yourself.” I want them to know they’re in charge of their health and happiness. Your outer world is a reflection of your self-talk.
Your relationship with yourself is forever. Learn what you like. Maybe you’re into nature, making art, or getting on a plane to experience new food. Find your flavor of self-love. Get to know what you want. Maybe becoming a Mom is your dream or starting a band will fulfill you.
When you fill your cup first, anything is possible. If you don’t know where to start, this will help:
1. Have a Miracle Morning
When you wake up, it’s easy to reach for your phone to check all the things. Resist the urge! Create a Miracle Morning instead. Inspired by Hal Elrod’s book, The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed To Transform Your Life … (Before 8AM), wake up before you have to for nurture time.
After Hal got hit by a car, he had to rebuild his life. He searched “habits of successful people” and saw parallels. Many high achieving people did similar things to create extraordinary lives. He named these habits S.A.V.E.R.S. which stand for Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing (or Journaling).
Your Miracle Morning is up to you. You can do all or a few of the SAVERS. Even if you do each one for one minute, it beats have a tech taco for breakfast.
2. Draw Lines in the Sand
Loving yourself and boundaries are best buds. If you don’t say what you want, no one will know how you treat you. Remember. You’re the average of the five people you hang with. Scan the people are in your life. Do they inspire and support you? If so, they can stay. If they drain or annoy you, slowly back away. Outgrowing friendships can be the hardest thing about owning your worth.
Start with the sandwich technique. Say a positive, ask for what you need, and end with a positive. Here’s what I mean:
Friend: Can you pick me up at the airport?
You: I’d love to, we could gab about your trip. (Positive.) I have to drive the girls to my in-laws in the morning before work. (Truth.) Sorry I can’t help. Try Sarah, she’s always helpful. (Positive.)
3. Try On Acceptance
Accepting that you neglected yourself is hard. Yet, being OK with it is pure freedom. It’s impossible to achieve your goal of doing your hair in the morning until you accept that you’ve worn a pony tail for the last three months.
There’s no room for judgment in loving yourself. Witness where you are like you’re watching a movie. You’re neither good nor bad. Where you are is perfect. If you need help, read Judgment Detox by Gabrielle Bernstein.
4. Forgive Your Past
It’s part of spiritual growth. Forgiveness cuts the emotional chord you have to the past. It lifts the pain anyone caused you off your shoulders. By holding onto to anger or sadness, you’re energetically weighing yourself down.
How people treat you is their karma. It’s a reflection of you, not them. Wayne Dyer wrote a great article on forgiveness.
You don’t have to go to Bali to getaway. Although that sounds amazing. Make travel part of your wellness practice. Unplugging from your day-to-day life does wonders for your skin. Ever notice how you sleep better in a hotel? Being away from your laptop with unanswered email, dirty tub, and basket of unfolded laundry lowers your stress hormones.
Take a trip once a year. Just go. Travel opens your creative mind when you’re immersed in new tastes, music, and culture. Fun isn’t just for kids.
You deserve the same admiration as your loved ones. Start with one thing on this list and you’ll learn to love yourself. It’s a love letter to yourself. You’re telling the world that you deserve better. As if by magic, supportive people will walk into your life.